I've Been Born Again
by hitntr01
Summary: I found myself looking into the mirror and I knew I wasn't who I wanted to be. I was living life the way that I wanted but my eyes reminded me I'm not free. This is what it is, this is who I am,this is where I finally take my stand! Alice/Jasper songfic


_**Song: Born again **_

_**By: Newsboys**_

_**(Please go listen to it if you never heard of it!!!)**_

_Title: I've been Born Again (songfic)_

(Jasper's POV)

I remember that day as if it were yesterday. I remember the times when I felt lonely and I thought no one could fill the hole that I didn't realize was there.

_I found myself looking into the mirror  
Knew I wasn't who I wanted to be_

The red eyes were enough to remind me of my every day predicament. I was ready to take down an innocent person to live. I would feel their pain, hurt, sadness, regret…I knew there had to be another way; I just had to find it.

_  
I was living life the way that I wanted_

I do believe that we are all here for a reason. I thought I had everything going for me. I was out of the South and away from Maria and her army. I had two good friends that I left not to long ago. I felt a pull to go somewhere new, to strike it out on my own. I went into the bathroom of a grocery store to feel human or perhaps find a quick meal. I could live my life however I wanted and I was free to be me from now on. I sighed as I looked into the mirror; I knew I was free but I didn't feel that way.

_  
But my eyes reminded me I'm not free_

Those darn eyes, they would be dark red or light red. That was it. They were the only way of showing proof that I ate off of the innocent. This was the way it had to be though; there was no other choice if I wanted to be able to survive. There was only one way to eat.

_  
Believed a lie _

After a few minutes a little seven year old boy ran into the bathroom and stopped to stare at me in awe. He was confused as to why I was staring at myself in the mirror. "Hey kid." I said looking at him.

The kid didn't say anything as he slipped into a stall. I then ran out, I wasn't about to kill a kid and I was definitely not staying around this place to smell that child's feces. The concerned mother was waiting right outside the door with a cart full of groceries. No doubt this was probably her first time letting her kid go into a public bathroom alone.

I saw a diner across the street when I left the small grocery store that I was currently in. I looked around the street; it seemed small enough where I could pick someone out without drawing attention. I could follow the person home; diners are filled with people who live alone. Perhaps I will be able to find a very quick meal after all.

_  
So everything that I know_

_Says I gotta go, tired of going solo  
But I'm never gonna go there again_

I walked in and almost instantly a small woman flitted by my side. Before she even spoke, I all of a sudden felt like I wasn't alone in this world. My life was better. I was already happier than I had ever been in my life. I felt the feeling of ecstatic for the first time.

"You kept me waiting." She said smiling as if we made plans that I had forgotten about.

"I'm sorry ma'am." I said, who was she? How could I keep someone I never met waiting? She reached out her hand, as I was trying to find out who this person was. I finally grabbed it making her smile widen.

_  
This is what it is  
This is who I am  
This is where I finally take my stand  
I didn't wanna fall  
But I don't have to crawl  
I met the one with two scarred hands  
Giving Him the best of  
Everything that's left of  
The life inside this man_

She had later shown me an alternative to eating human. Animals, while they didn't taste the best, they were so much easier to eat than any human. No emotions from them and no guilt from ending an innocent person's life.

_I've been born again_

_(Alice's POV)_

We had known each other for a month now, Jasper was still new to the diet and just being around a humanwas hard enough for him. We had to go to the store to get some new clothes and I sighed as he walked past a group full of humans, afraid to turn on them. He stopped breathing as he quickened his pace ahead of me.

I felt horrible having to watch him go through this. I went to pay for the clothing as he quickly walked outside to get fresh air.

_  
I see ya walking like you're living in fear_

It took him a month and a half on our diet to finally crack and he filled on a human. I couldn't blame him though, we all mess up. I did that more than a number of times before I met him. He came back to me later that day, we both knew it happened. I had seen a vision of it but I knew I couldn't get to him in time.

He stopped in the yard when he saw me sitting on our porch. He turned his head away and walked past me, ashamed of his eye color. He quickly closed the door as I still sat on the porch looking at the door, if only I had the vision sooner. Any other vampire would laugh at us for feeling so guilty over such a thing.

_  
Having trouble even looking at me  
Wishing they would give you more than words  
Sick of people telling how it should be_

I finally walked inside to find his bedroom door closed and locked, we had yet to marry at this time. I knocked on his door.

"Go away."

"Please open." I said knocking on the door again. No answer, finally I broke the lock, we could easily buy another. I saw him in the corner burying his head in his hands. Sitting down next to him, I wrapped an arm around him, "Jasper, calm down. It wasn't your fault."

"How can you live with me, knowing that all I want to do is kill those you want to keep alive?" he asked. "Look at me!" He growled in frustration as he stared his red eyes into mine.

I smirked, "I am, and you know what I see?" Jasper looked down at the ground.

_  
What'd ya download? Where'd ya get your info?  
You saw that I'm sure  
Now you're in the in know  
Gonna tell you what I believe_

"I see a man who is hurting and just needs a little more time to come out to his full potential. I don't know if it will be two days, two weeks, or two hundred years but I see a guy if he puts his mind to it, can make a difference." I nuzzled my head into his shoulder, allowing him to pass some of his guilt that he felt towards me.

He smiled realizing my words where true. After a few minutes, we stood as we held each other's hands and looked into each other's eyes. There was no separating us. We knew that.

_  
This is what it is  
This is who I am  
This is where I finally take my stand  
I didn't wanna fall  
But I don't have to crawl  
I met the one with two scarred hands  
Giving Him the best of  
Everything that's left of  
The life inside this man  
I've been born again_

Jasper sighed as nearly forty years later, we were still together. It was a lot of ups and downs but in the end, it all worked out. He had his sleeves rolled up as we sat in our room. His past…the worst thing for him to talk about. But it was done and over with now. He was free. He had told me his story a number of times; it intrigued me to no end.

_  
We are the ones He called by name  
I'm never gonna look back  
There go the guilt and shame  
Said I'm never gonna look back  
This is who I am_

Bella's party ended in destruction. Everything ruined, from the cake to Esme's fine china. But the worse of everything was our family. Jasper was on a very good streak, twenty years. We knew he should have gone hunting that night but he didn't want to miss her birthday knowing that it meant so much to me and my family. Bella may never have another one again. Although, we didn't think that my husband was almost the reason for it.

I found him sitting in a tree as I tried to coax him down but he refused to come down. Carlisle was inside with Bella.

"You didn't mean too." I said into the tree.

Quiet

"Please, talk to me. I can't help you if I don't know how you feel."

Nothing.

"I'm not mad at you."

The top of the tree rustled but no one came down, he refused to talk. I lowered my head to the ground, why didn't I see this happening?

_  
This is what it is_  
_This is who I am  
This is where I finally take my stand  
I didn't wanna fall  
But I don't have to crawl  
I met the one with two scarred hands  
Giving Him the best of  
Everything that's left of  
The life inside this man  
I've been born again_

Less than year passed and I am now making wedding arrangements! Given what I knew a year ago, I would have never guessed that this could be happening. Jasper felt better about being near Bella once he talked to her and they talked it out. Edward still got upset if Jasper was around Bella without any of us around. It was acceptable, although sometimes he took it too far.

I found my husband sitting in a corner as he watched me plan everything out a week before the wedding. We were in the reception room alone, "Remember when I planned our first wedding?" I asked as I pictured the flowers and arrangements of everything.

"A night to remember." He smiled as he stood up. We were all alone in the room.

"We danced the night away." I said twirling.

"And I finally got to say you were mine." He said as I twirled right into him. He caught me as we started slow dancing just as we had that night.

"Do you think you would change anything in the past if you could?" I had to ask, it was always on my mind mainly due to the fact that I don't remember my past so I tend to live through Jasper's past.

"Not a thing. Everything happens for a reason." He said as we slowly danced across the floor.

_  
This is what it is  
This is who I am  
I didn't wanna fall  
But I don't have to crawl  
I met the one with two scarred hands  
Giving Him the best of  
Everything that's left of  
The life inside this man  
I've been born again_

Jasper dipped me and brought me back up as our noses touched, I smiled "This is what it is."

Jasper nodded, "This is who I am."

We smiled, "I've been born again." No one was around as we shared a silent kiss that told each other everything we already knew. We weren't big into showing affection in public but leave us alone and we know exactly how to make each other know the truth.

We were born again, Jasper no longer had his past to worry about and I no longer had to worry about remembering my past, all we had to worry about was our future, with the ones we loved.

_**Hope you liked it!**_

_**Yes, it is a spiritual song but I felt like it could fit into their relationship. I think it worked nicely but tell me what you thought! I heard this song and fell in love with it instantly. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**_


End file.
